Chapter 1: From Darkness to Light

Three years ago, I found myself incarcerated. Upon my release, I was filled with optimism, unaware of the mental turmoil that awaited me. I soon began experiencing auditory hallucinations, leading me to a dark place. My belief that I had hit rock bottom was only the beginning of a more profound struggle. Over the next two years, I faced hospitalization four times due to voices urging me to end my life.

Despite still hearing these voices, I continue to push forward. I have been diagnosed with schizophrenia, a condition that carries a heavy burden, with many individuals in similar situations tragically taking their own lives. I can understand that despair.

Yet, I remain hopeful for a breakthrough. Perhaps this entire experience is a prelude to growth. What lessons can I derive from my suffering? I await that moment of clarity, refusing to succumb to despair. Like the mythical Phoenix, I will rise from the ashes.

If I were to distill the past two years into a single moment, it would be this exchange:

Voices: You will take your life.

Myself: I will persevere.

I have indeed survived so far. Each day offers a fresh start. On my darkest days, I remind myself that everything can transform overnight. Tomorrow brings new possibilities.

And it does. I feel grateful to be present today. I take life one day at a time. Will this shadow eventually fade? I sincerely hope so. I long to uncover what lies beyond this anguish.

As I mentioned earlier, I hear voices that threaten my existence. However, two years ago, I also heard another voice—a voice urging me to promise not to end my life, highlighting the value of my existence.

To whom is my life important? To my friends, family, and potentially many others. As an aspiring writer, I have the opportunity to impact countless lives. My message is straightforward: keep moving forward.

Never lose hope. Every day is a fresh opportunity. Life can improve, and healing is possible, even from profound pain.

As the saying goes, there is light at the end of the tunnel, even after enduring years of darkness. I understand the struggle, but it is possible to emerge alive. Just as Gloria Gaynor sang, “I will survive.”

And indeed, you will survive if you focus on your blessings and give your best each day. One day at a time—that’s all we have.

Jesus wisely advised, “Do not worry about tomorrow, for today has enough troubles of its own.” How true this is.

What awaits us beyond this darkness? I believe it is our responsibility to transform our narrative, to convert darkness into light. We must seek blessings amidst our trials.

True blessing exists independently of circumstances; it is a mindset. I believe this journey is also about assisting others. There are many who share your struggles, and they require your encouragement and inspiration. You embody the possibility of escape.

You are a beacon of hope in the darkness, both for yourself and for others. Manifest your destiny. Make your mission about aiding others. What can you contribute to the world? My answer is resilience.

I am resilient. I have endured. I will thrive.

You will learn my story—a testament to courage and perseverance in the face of mental illness. I refuse to be defined by schizophrenia. I hold down two jobs, engage in writing, and am actively reclaiming my physical health through exercise.

I live each day with intention, aware that my words and actions have the potential to impact others positively. While I navigate life one day at a time, I also set long-term goals—five, ten, and twenty years ahead—to guide my actions, keep me focused, and enable me to give back.

Many have supported me along my journey, and now it is time for me to reciprocate. I envision collaborating with the mental health community—sharing my story, writing, and listening.

I aim to inspire my peers. My narrative will be one of survival and renewal. If I can achieve this, so can you!

Let’s embark on this journey together!

Chapter 2: Understanding the Dark Night

The dark night of the soul can feel endless, but there are stages to this experience.

In this video, we explore the duration of the dark night of the soul and the factors that contribute to its length.

This second video breaks down the four stages of the dark night of the soul, offering insights into the transformative journey one undergoes during this challenging period.