Social Dynamics and Drinking

I always thought of myself as a confident person, especially in my job within the hospitality industry where I frequently engage with strangers. Yet, when it came to socializing outside of work, I discovered a different side of myself.

During work-related events, it’s commonplace for everyone to unwind with a few drinks. I often joined in, and while I may have appeared tipsy, my behavior rarely drew complaints. I wasn't seen as a problematic drunk, which made my drinking seem acceptable.

However, when I decided to quit drinking socially, I found it challenging to relax in group settings. This realization was surprising; I had always considered myself confident. I started leaving social events early because I felt uncomfortable and didn’t want to drink just to fit in. The feeling of awkwardness was overwhelming, leading me to reflect on whether my initial desire to drink stemmed from a need to feel more interesting.

On the positive side, my choice to abstain from alcohol encouraged me to explore other enjoyable activities—like discovering new hobbies and visiting cafes with non-alcoholic options. Actively seeking out friendships with those who share my non-drinking stance has helped alleviate the peer pressure I once felt.

Yet, I still grapple with feelings of awkwardness before heading out. Accepting this discomfort has become a part of my growth. My priorities have shifted; I no longer desire to let loose in public spaces. I now cringe at the thought of my drunken stories, even though my behavior wasn’t egregious. I have been focusing on self-improvement and genuinely appreciate who I am today.

Rethinking Celebrations

Initially, I associated drinking with stress relief. A long workday would often culminate in a glass of wine, which sometimes escalated to a bottle. I mistook this as a method of coping, believing I was managing my emotions. In reality, I was merely suppressing them, which only exacerbated my problems.

In the past, I would celebrate with alcohol, believing a toast required a drink in hand. However, I’ve since discovered a newfound appreciation for non-alcoholic cocktails and teas. Although I still find myself triggered by celebrations involving alcohol, I remind myself that my life is better without it—even if I miss it at times.

Reflecting on my Past

As a child, I had limited exposure to alcohol. My parents allowed me to sample small amounts, but I only developed a taste for wine in my early twenties. During my teenage years, I wasn’t particularly fond of alcohol, but I drank to fit in with peers who believed drinking was synonymous with fun.

I remember instances of drunkenness that left me embarrassed. I often sought validation from friends, who would assure me I was more fun while under the influence. Looking back, I find this notion appalling. It raises questions about my self-worth and whether I needed alcohol to be engaging.

Throughout my university years, I oscillated between periods of reduced drinking and times when I indulged excessively, often influenced by toxic relationships. It was during these times that I began to use alcohol as a coping mechanism, masking my emotional struggles.

A Turning Point

Understanding how and why my drinking escalated has been crucial. I am learning healthier ways to confront my emotions and triggers. While feelings of loneliness sometimes arise, I’ve come to recognize that numbing those feelings won’t lead to genuine improvement. Surrounding myself with the right people has made social interactions more enjoyable, allowing me to assess whether or not I should attend gatherings without relying on alcohol.

This journey is not easy, but I am committed to a healthier lifestyle. I take pride in the progress I’ve made and the relationships I’ve built with individuals who uplift me. Openly discussing my challenges has proven far more beneficial than alcohol ever was.

While I’m not yet ready to label my journey as “sobriety,” I feel I am moving in that direction. Perhaps “moving towards sobriety” better captures my ongoing efforts to redefine my relationship with alcohol.

The first video titled "I've been Sober for 100 Days! | My Experience Quitting Alcohol" offers personal insights and experiences that resonate deeply with my journey.

The second video, "QUIT DRINKING MOTIVATION - The Most Eye Opening 20 Minutes Of Your Life," presents powerful motivations for those considering a life without alcohol.