Chapter 1: The Essence of Love

Dear Reader,

When you observe an elderly couple walking hand in hand, a delightful warmth can emerge within us, whispering, "It is indeed achievable!" This sentiment can arise at any moment, regardless of where you find yourself in your romantic journey. If you've ever relished the genuine affection radiating from a couple's public displays, you understand this feeling is pure, uplifting, and can leave one in a contemplative silence.

Love is a well-trodden path, a journey that billions have undertaken and will continue to embark on. It encompasses both a mindset and actions, along with a profound emotional experience. By intertwining our thoughts, feelings, and actions, we can cultivate a beautiful essence of love. Perhaps the most exquisite equation of life is when two souls walk hand in hand, simply connected.

Each of us expresses love differently, and the manifestations of love can be as varied as the stars. However, we do possess established, tried-and-true ways to convey our affection. Holding hands, for instance, is a powerful expression of love, serving as both a physical and emotional bond. Whether we consciously choose this gesture or find ourselves naturally drawn to it, we can all agree that this simple act symbolizes love.

Acknowledgment

Imagine the scene not just with an older couple, but also envision a parent holding their child's hand, friends walking together, or teammates linking arms. This universal gesture of love transcends cultures and eras, requiring no official endorsement. It reveals a secret that is always on display, understood across all languages and backgrounds.

This secret begins with the act of holding hands, starting from the most apparent level: acknowledgment. Each person, in their individuality and journey, recognizes one another, conveying, "I see you, I connect with you."

We experience this acknowledgment in our daily lives, whether during commutes, shopping, or even while watching TV. We notice when two individuals are sharing a moment of connection, and we recognize the acknowledgment in that simple act.

Yet, there exists a deeper layer beyond mere acknowledgment—a level of agreement, which is a crucial aspect of love.

Agreement

An agreement signifies mutual consideration, and when we examine the act of holding hands, we can observe the convergence of various paths leading to that moment of connection. One of the many secrets to fostering love lies in this understanding.

The agreement symbolized by holding hands extends beyond just two individuals; it reflects each person's internal agreement with themselves. Perhaps, in our formative years, we were inspired by our parents, neighbors, or movies to mimic this action because it radiated joy. Alternatively, we might feel a natural instinct to reach out for connection, even if we have never witnessed such gestures before.

The reasons we engage in this agreement are myriad; however, this chapter focuses on how we arrive at this shared connection.

There exists an open secret to building love often obscured by misconceptions. We frequently ask, "Why do you love them?" This question centers on the rationale behind love, a subject everyone can articulate more easily than they realize. "I love her because she enriches the world," or "I love him because he embodies the poet we need." The "because" provides the purpose, the rationale behind love, and in today's world, we can readily identify countless reasons for our affections.

This reflection serves as a wonderful starting point when considering a romantic connection. To maintain the essence of love, one must follow up their heartfelt "why" with a definitive "how."

Actions and Aspirations

What does the process of loving someone entail? Rest assured, we all innately understand how to love. At its core, we desire the well-being of others, prompting us to support them in various ways. This could be as simple as cooking a meal together or engaging in shared activities like yoga or attending concerts. Even small gestures, such as sending a thoughtful text, show support for someone's basic needs—health and well-being.

Loving someone does not have to be complicated; in fact, it is often quite straightforward. Consider your child, partner, or friend. Do you know their goals? By understanding their aspirations, you can love them by supporting their journeys.

We come closer to one of the many secrets of building love when we discuss supporting someone for who they are. This level of acknowledgment goes beyond mere observation; it signifies a deep consideration for them. It involves taking the time to understand their identity and aspirations, creating a more uplifting connection.

Take a moment to reflect on the agreement embodied in holding hands. This action is imbued with mindfulness and mutual feeling, directed towards oneself and the person whose hand you hold.

In this simple yet profound act, both individuals engage in a shared experience. How can such an ordinary gesture hold such power in demonstrating shared love?

The Power of Shared Values

Shared values serve as the foundation for growth. Just as plants thrive on the carbon dioxide we exhale, we, too, flourish through our connections with others.

Renowned psychologist Abraham Maslow proposed a theory regarding human development, emphasizing that basic needs must be fulfilled before individuals can pursue more complex aspirations. This psychological principle, known as Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, posits that achieving innate human needs culminates in self-actualization.

Building a meaningful relationship mirrors this concept; we can nurture our connections by sharing the values we uphold in our own lives.

Unlike plants, we are complex human beings, navigating intricate social and emotional landscapes. One vital aspect of our interactions is the clarity of our values. When we define our values, we can approach life more fully. Well-defined values guide us, and as the saying goes, "Those who stand for nothing fall for anything," highlighting the importance of personal values.

Cultivating these personal values leads to self-love and paves the way for nurturing loving relationships. Once we understand who we are and what we stand for, we gain the ability to share our values with others. As Kendrick Lamar wisely stated, "You gotta learn to love yourself because in this world, that's the realest love you'll get." Defining our values empowers us to share them with the world, and often, that world is symbolized by the one person who illuminates our existence.

The Art of Sharing Values

Now that we recognize one of the many secrets to building love lies in shared values, we can focus on mastering the art of sharing these values. Holding hands serves as one step along the journey of life built by two people and symbolizes countless other actions and ideals. As unique individuals, we all strive to share lasting values in our relationships.

So, be patient with yourself and your loved ones; we are all learning to love one another. Perhaps surprise yourself by asking that elderly couple, "What is the secret to making a relationship last 59 years?" Let their wisdom illuminate a better path.

The first video, "The SECRET To Building LOVE & ROMANCE In A Relationship," featuring Jay Shetty and Radhi Shetty, explores essential elements for nurturing love and romance in relationships, providing insights into fostering deeper connections.

The second video, "Matthew Hussey: The Secret To Building A Perfect Relationship," delves into practical tips for cultivating a strong and fulfilling partnership, offering wisdom for lasting love.