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# The Hidden Dangers of Misguided Self-Care Practices

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Chapter 1: The Illusion of Self-Care

You might wake up early, engage in meditation, hit the gym, and then indulge in a refreshing shower. After applying moisturizer and styling your hair, you might even light palo santo to cleanse your space of any negativity.

Then, you settle down at your desk, take a deep breath, and suddenly find yourself in tears. Despite all your self-care efforts, something feels off. Shouldn't you be feeling great after all that? You're drinking water, following your routine, yet you're still not okay.

This can be incredibly frustrating for many individuals, and for others, it can be downright harmful.

But isn’t self-care beneficial?

The short answer is yes! However, the issue arises when you engage in these “self-care” activities without a clear understanding of their purpose or while neglecting deeper emotional concerns.

In 2020, the Covid-19 pandemic caught everyone off guard. According to the World Health Organization, rates of depression and anxiety surged by 25%. Isolation became commonplace, as people faced the trauma of losing loved ones without goodbyes, and political tensions escalated. We were witnessing trauma unfold in real time.

Although the notion of self-care wasn’t new, it gained significant attention during the pandemic. Discussions about ideal self-care routines proliferated on social media. You’d see influencers, basking in sunlight, practicing yoga, and urging you to join in. The pressure mounted to journal, exercise, meal prep, and stay connected with friends and family. Meditation and mindfulness were presented as essentials, alongside more complex practices like inner-child work.

But how practical is it to engage in inner-child work without proper guidance?

What happens when you're unable to stick to your self-care routines? Missing one or two practices can leave you feeling defeated.

In my experience, it can be disheartening.

What truly troubles me is the distinction between meditation and mindfulness.

Section 1.1: Meditation Versus Mindfulness

To clarify, meditation involves deliberately quieting your mind for a set period to focus on the present. This can be challenging, while mindfulness helps you recognize thoughts that arise during meditation without judgment, allowing you to return to the present. Mindfulness can be practiced anywhere.

However, if you lack a proper understanding of meditation or mindfulness, are these practices truly beneficial or potentially harmful? If you’re not applying these techniques effectively, do they serve their intended purpose?

Inner-child work delves into past experiences and can unearth emotions or traumas that may overwhelm you. Some may navigate this alone successfully, but experts in trauma-informed care caution against this approach.

Subsection 1.1.1: The Importance of Support

Reflective meditation space

Section 1.2: The Shift in Corporate Wellness

As we approach a more manageable phase of the pandemic, "The Great Resignation" has prompted companies to prioritize employee mental health. By offering self-care packages, they aim to boost productivity. However, while this is a positive step, it raises concerns about the underlying capitalist motives.

According to an article in the Harvard Business Review, the individualistic approach of these wellness programs may actually harm employees. By merely providing meditation apps and gym memberships, companies may imply that mental health challenges must be handled in isolation. This lack of social connection could contribute to rising anxiety and burnout. If you’re interested, here’s the article discussing their findings.

Again, self-care encompasses more than just gym sessions or meditation apps.

Chapter 2: Understanding Self-Care

Self-care resembles a tree with branches and roots. The branches represent various self-care practices, such as exercising, meditating, journaling, spending time outdoors, or indulging in your favorite show. Meanwhile, the roots signify the importance of addressing traumas or experiences that shape your life, which can be achieved through therapy and mindfulness.

These roots have been forming throughout your life, influenced by every significant moment, trauma, and success. Therapy can clarify the origins of your anxieties or traumas, while mindfulness helps you ground yourself during emotional experiences. You can experience emotions without being overwhelmed by them, much like how enzymes function.

It’s easy to create rituals that feel good while avoiding the underlying pain. Luxurious baths, disconnected meditations, and binge-watching your favorite series can all become ways to cope. While I enjoy these activities, they can also lead to isolation if they prevent you from confronting your feelings.

Section 2.1: Recognizing the Need for Genuine Self-Care

Discussing effective self-care practices is often easier said than done. Recently, with everything happening in the world, including distressing events in the US, I’ve found it challenging to operate at my usual capacity.

As I write this, there’s a pile of laundry on my desk that refuses to put itself away. What started as a few shirts laid out to prevent wrinkles has escalated into procrastination, complicated by my shedding German Shepherd. I just want to avoid having hair on clean clothes.

I know I’ll feel better soon. I consistently engage in the necessary work, even if I occasionally fall off track. I’ll disconnect from the news and social media and focus on being present over the next few days. It’s a process.

Subsection 2.1.1: The Journey to Self-Understanding

To self-soothe or truly practice self-care? We all navigate this journey, especially in recent years. Here’s what I’ve learned:

  1. Acknowledge that it’s okay to not be okay.
  2. If your self-care routine isn’t helping, consider exploring therapy.
  3. Understand that it’s acceptable to sit with your feelings; they won’t consume you.

Just Like Enzymes

Self-care is essential, particularly during these turbulent times. We’re attempting to recover from complex, ongoing traumas. However, we must differentiate between self-soothing and genuine self-care. If you feel like you’ve done significant self-work yet still struggle, ask yourself if you’re engaging in self-soothing or authentic self-care.

Be kind to yourself and remember that experiencing your emotions will not destroy you.

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