# Embracing Stoicism: Navigating Chronic Illness with Resilience
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Chapter 1: My Journey with Chronic Illness
In late 2020, I penned a reflection on my struggles with long COVID. I shared my symptoms and the six-month odyssey that accompanied this condition. By the end of the post, I was optimistic, believing I was on the brink of recovery and that my life would soon return to its previous rhythm—free from fatigue, heart issues, and headaches.
Regrettably, that hope was misplaced.
Since April 2020, I've endured a series of relapses tied to my post-viral symptoms, which have somewhat plateaued in recent months. While I could elaborate on the physical challenges I've faced over these nearly two years, I prefer to delve into the mental, spiritual, and philosophical aspects of my experience. As someone who once thrived on fitness and energy, coming to terms with chronic illness at 23 has been a profound transformation.
Internal Conflicts
For several months, three distinct thoughts have occupied my mind:
- The belief that I may never recover, losing my former self and physical vitality forever.
- The inability to accept this new reality, feeling compelled to reclaim my health, as life seems unworthy otherwise.
- The most constructive mindset: understanding that fixating on my health won’t yield positive results. While I can explore various treatments, I must not let my condition dominate my life.
Reaching this third perspective was challenging. I often question its validity when even a light five-minute workout leaves me breathless, or studying for 20 minutes triggers debilitating headaches. Shouldn't I focus entirely on my recovery? Yet, health isn’t something to force; it’s not merely a task to tackle.
Indeed, there are lifestyle adjustments to consider, but when you've exhausted those options and your body remains unresponsive, what then?
Ill health truly tests the principles of stoicism.
When you've tried everything and the outcome remains unchanged, how do you respond?
Adopting a Stoic Mindset
I once believed I embodied a strong stoic attitude, adhering to the teachings of Aurelius, Epictetus, and Seneca. However, I’ve come to realize that genuine stoicism can only be fully appreciated through real hardship. It is only through experiencing adversity that one can grasp the essence of stoicism and its everyday benefits.
As my symptoms persisted and hope seemed elusive, the only way to preserve my sanity was to embrace core stoic principles.
Recognizing the Good, the Bad, and the Indifferent
The stoic perspective on life differs significantly from contemporary views. Society often categorizes wealth, health, and pleasure as positive, while poverty, illness, and pain are seen as negative.
In contrast, stoics view all these experiences as 'indifferent' to leading a virtuous life. This realization enlightened me; my health challenges do not determine my ability to live a fulfilling life. What truly matters is how I respond to the circumstances I face.
By engaging in actions that stoics deem 'good'—like self-discipline, wisdom, and courage—I have found strength in daily struggles, celebrating small achievements and striving to live virtuously within the limits my health imposes.
Acceptance of the Uncontrollable
“You have power over your mind — not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.” — Marcus Aurelius
This well-known stoic principle has been vital for my psychological well-being since my illness began and becomes increasingly relevant as time goes on. Accepting that I cannot control everything happening in my body brings a sense of liberation, allowing me to live without feeling imprisoned by my condition.
I used to feel discouraged when a new supplement failed to produce results or when my 40-hour water fast yielded minimal benefits. Now, I find greater acceptance in these setbacks. While I can control my actions to improve my health, I have no control over how my body will respond.
Amor Fati
Amor Fati has been one of the more challenging stoic concepts for me to embrace, and I am still working on this.
“Seek not for events to happen as you wish but rather wish for events to happen as they do and your life will go smoothly.” — Epictetus
The principle encourages one to love everything that occurs. Accepting events is one thing; cherishing them is another. Yet, I’ve made significant progress in reshaping my perception of past occurrences. Instead of viewing my health struggles as traumatic hindrances, I now see them as challenges that have fostered my growth—making me stronger, kinder, and wiser.
There’s no merit in dwelling on past events negatively; such thoughts are unproductive. The past is immutable, but my reflections on it can shape how I navigate the present and influence my future.
Living Forward
It remains uncertain whether I will ever fully accept my chronic illness or if I will return to my former state. Perhaps I’ll improve in a few months, or maybe I’ll carry these symptoms for life.
However, a stoic mindset has taught me that the outcome is less significant than my ability to remain disciplined and virtuous in the present. This, in essence, is what constitutes a good life.
Description: In this video, Stoic principles are explored in relation to health challenges, offering insights from Marcus Aurelius on overcoming illness with resilience.
Description: This video shares a personal journey of conquering disease through stoicism, illustrating the power of philosophical thinking in the face of adversity.