Chapter 1: Understanding Self Love

In the Quran, we find a profound reminder:

“(Muhammad), tell my servants who have committed injustice to themselves, ‘Do not despair of the mercy of God. God certainly forgives all sins. He is All-forgiving and All-merciful.’” (Quran 39:53)

Forgiveness is a central theme in the Quran, as well as in many other religious texts. For Muslims, the significance of forgiveness extends to relationships with family and friends. However, a crucial aspect often overlooked is the need to forgive oneself.

The discourse around self-love and self-care is gradually gaining traction in our culture. Yet, a common misconception persists: equating self-love with selfishness. This notion is misguided. Self-love involves caring for oneself, while selfishness entails prioritizing oneself at the expense of others. Striking a balance where you can show kindness to yourself and others is the ideal approach.

Constant self-criticism does not benefit anyone. Just as a flower cannot thrive when trampled, you cannot uplift others by diminishing your own well-being.

My journey with self-love and self-forgiveness has been challenging. It wasn't until my early thirties, following a cancer diagnosis, that I began to grasp the value of self-care. I have often been my own harshest critic. This lesson became especially poignant for me during the last Ramadan.

For those unfamiliar with Islam, Ramadan is the ninth month of the Islamic calendar and is considered the holiest month for Muslims. It is a time dedicated to spiritual reflection, self-improvement, and devotion to God. Muslims observe fasting from dawn to sunset, abstaining from food, drink, and other physical needs. This fast aims to enhance spiritual discipline, fortify faith, and express solidarity with the less fortunate.

Since my conversion to Islam in late 2020, I have faced challenges in completing my fast due to health issues. In 2022, I was eager to observe my first Ramadan fast with my husband. I adorned our living space with star-shaped lights, golden moons, and lanterns, and even planned to participate in the Taraweeh prayers. I even took the initiative to help a friend start a charity.

However, after just a week of fasting and my other activities, my fibromyalgia and anxiety flared up. I endured excruciating pain in my legs, making standing and kneeling during prayers agonizing, especially during the lengthy Taraweeh prayers. At that time, I was still learning how to manage my fibromyalgia. Frustration consumed me; I berated myself for my perceived weakness and for struggling with this vital religious obligation. I felt as though I was disappointing God, and my pain only intensified as my self-anger escalated.

After fourteen days, I had to cease my fasting. This left me feeling disheartened. However, with time, I reflected on the experience and realized that I had learned a significant lesson during Ramadan. If we are meant to extend love and forgiveness to others, we must also practice the same compassion toward ourselves. After all, if a friend faced a similar challenge, would I criticize them? Absolutely not.

We cannot thrive if we are our own adversaries. The Quran emphasizes that God loves those who seek repentance and forgiveness. If the Creator of the universe encourages us to ask for His forgiveness, shouldn't we also be willing to forgive ourselves?

This Ramadan, I have set a goal to practice self-kindness. I’ve opted to refrain from overwhelming myself with excessive activities, focusing instead on the essentials: fasting, performing prayers, reading the Quran, and taking time to relax. Thus far, this Ramadan has been peaceful, and I have not encountered significant health issues (knock on wood). I've also resolved that if I encounter a serious health challenge unexpectedly, it’s perfectly acceptable to pause, recuperate, and then resume or make up my fast.

Here are some relevant verses from the Quran regarding health issues during Ramadan:

“[Fasting for] a limited number of days. So whoever among you is ill or on a journey [during them] — then an equal number of days [are to be made up]. And upon those who are able [to fast, but with hardship] — a ransom [as substitute] of feeding a poor person [each day]. And whoever volunteers excess — it is better for him. But to fast is best for you, if you only knew.” (2:184)

“Allah intends for you ease and does not intend for you hardship.” (2:185)

Ultimately, everything is within God's control. I cannot dictate how my body reacts; I can only do my part and hope for the best.

As we navigate this journey, here are additional Quranic verses that celebrate God's love:

“Verily, Allah loves those who turn unto Him in repentance and loves those who purify themselves.” [Quran 2:222]

“And those who believe and do good deeds — We will surely remove from them their misdeeds and will surely reward them according to the best of what they used to do.” [Quran 29:7]

“Indeed, Allah does not wrong [anyone] so much as an atom’s weight; and if there is a good deed, He multiplies it and gives from Himself a great reward.” [Quran 4:40]

Chapter 2: Spiritual Insights from Ramadan

This section explores the deeper meaning of self-love during Ramadan, focusing on spiritual growth and personal reflection.

The first video, titled "Spiritual Self Love This Ramadan," delves into the importance of nurturing our inner selves during this holy month, encouraging viewers to embrace self-love as a spiritual practice.

Chapter 3: A Journey of the Self in Ramadan

In this chapter, we will discuss the transformative journey of self-discovery during Ramadan.

The second video, "Ramadan: A Spiritual Journey of the Self | Dr. Rania Awaad," highlights the spiritual journey one embarks upon during Ramadan, emphasizing the importance of self-reflection and personal growth.