Embracing Self-Discovery Through Mindful Experiments
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Chapter 1: Understanding Our Emotions
Anxiety has permeated our society, affecting many individuals, including myself. I often feel overwhelmed, and it's become a common experience. In the past, expressing anxiety about global issues was sometimes viewed as abnormal, a sign of deeper psychological struggles. Today, however, it seems that experiencing anxiety is almost a universal norm. If someone feels indifferent, they might even be seen as unusual.
Realizing this, I decided that I did not want to live in a state of constant anxiety, particularly during this election year. I aimed to conduct personal experiments, exploring various mindfulness techniques, artistic endeavors, and other practices to discover what genuinely brings me joy amidst fear. My intention was to observe, "if I engage in this activity, how does it affect my emotional state?"
Rather than seeking a distant goal, I wanted to cultivate an awareness of my present self, exploring what lies within and beyond my immediate thoughts. This approach fosters curiosity and enhances clarity, preparing me to act more thoughtfully.
To embark on this journey, I recognized the importance of reinterpreting my anxiety. If I could view it as a potential catalyst for awareness, I might find it less intimidating. According to Susan Murphy in her book A Fire Runs Through All Things: Zen Koans for Facing the Climate Crisis, our anxiety signals that the world requires something from us, and that something is already forming within us.
However, acknowledging anxiety can be burdensome, often monopolizing my focus. To counter this, I began a practice of pausing to connect with the present moment, saying to myself, "Hello, universe. Hello, moment."
I've noticed that during anxious times, I tend to believe nothing will succeed. Conversely, when I feel at ease, a multitude of possibilities opens up. So, what practices have proven effective for me?
I often close my eyes, stand still, and focus on my breath. One technique I employ is the "square breath practice," where I count to three for each phase of breathing: exhalation, pause, inhalation, and pause. This practice sharpens my focus, clears my mind and heart, allowing me to concentrate solely on my breath. In doing so, I find brief moments of relief from the cycle of fear and rumination, learning that freedom and clarity are within my reach.
My primary practice revolves around breath counting, a straightforward method rooted in curiosity. Many traditions advocate this practice. I sit in a calm space, either with closed or partially open eyes, hands resting in my lap. I breathe in, then exhale while silently counting "one." My full attention rests on the act of breathing, not rushing to the next number or dismissing any thoughts or feelings. I simply exist in the moment of counting, and if I lose track, I acknowledge it and return to "one."
Engaging in this practice reveals something indescribable, akin to a clear blue sky—a sensation that is always present but often obscured. When thoughts arise, they resemble trees in my periphery, while emotions flow by like the wind, neither possessing me nor defining my state. The counting continues until I reach "ten," at which point I begin again at "one."
Yet, breath meditation might not resonate with everyone, emphasizing the necessity for personal experimentation.
Chapter 2: Art as a Path to Mindfulness
Years ago, I discovered another meditation technique that involves focusing on artwork or natural objects, such as a pinecone or a stone. This approach originated from psychologist Lawrence LeShan. One of my favorite pieces is a painting of a Buddha on slate, a replica of an ancient cave painting from Asia. I place it on a table before me and sit with it.
After a few breaths, often with my eyes closed, I open my eyes to take in the entire piece, allowing my gaze to flow over it. I don’t just see it; I feel it, welcoming its presence. Then, I focus on specific details of the painting, one section at a time. After several minutes, I close my eyes again and visualize the entire artwork, recalling its nuances. When I reopen my eyes, I appreciate the piece anew, noticing aspects I may have overlooked previously. This process transports me to the cave with the Buddha.
Engaging with art, nature, or even urban landscapes can help dissolve the barriers in our minds and ease the weight in our hearts.
Compassion also plays a crucial role in my journey. By recognizing and valuing the presence of others, I can break free from isolation and the confines of my own thoughts, fostering a willingness to connect and alleviate the suffering of those around me. In our fast-paced world, this sense of connection is often neglected.
Compassion can manifest as a caring response to others' suffering, a commitment to help. It can also encompass empathy—a shared experience of existence. When we acknowledge that others breathe and feel similarly to us, we reflect our treatment of them back onto ourselves. Approaching others with openness can lead us to treat ourselves with the same kindness.
I find joy in simply pausing to observe another being, breathing in harmony with them. Imagining another person in a state of happiness and peace feels uplifting. A powerful Buddhist exercise involves sincerely wishing, "may all sentient beings be free from suffering." Another practice, Tonglen, encourages us to visualize inhaling the pain of others and exhaling what will support their healing. This can disrupt our habitual tendencies to cling to pleasure while avoiding discomfort.
There exists an array of practices to explore, including meditations that focus on spaciousness—feeling the space within and around us, especially during times of distress. Reading poetry can also be transformative, offering fresh perspectives when life feels overwhelming. It enriches my reality beyond mere thoughts, instilling a sense of beauty in my being.
Lastly, engaging in political action can invigorate us, reminding us of our power to effect change and protect life. Acting with intention fosters a sense of aliveness, promoting empowerment. However, this requires mindfulness and a questioning mindset, understanding what we truly know and feel. One of the greatest deceptions we face is believing we're the only ones who see clearly.
Ultimately, the key is to approach our experiences with kindness and curiosity. Our hearts are shaped not only by external events but also by our responses and the narratives we construct around them. By consciously investing in our mental well-being and recognizing our influence on the lives of others and the health of the world, we can gain the clarity needed to foster positive change, safeguard democracy, and secure a better future.
In this TEDx talk, Lauren Russ Constant discusses the importance of experimenting with selfhood. She emphasizes that self-exploration can lead to personal growth and a deeper understanding of one's identity.
A.J. Jacobs shares insights on why living life as an experiment can be liberating. He encourages embracing curiosity and flexibility in our approaches to life, highlighting the benefits of viewing experiences as opportunities for learning.