Section 1.1: Navigating Expectations

Liberty University had strict guidelines against even watching R-rated films, as they deemed viewing nudity "sinful." Jerry Falwell's fear of sexuality was evident, and his legacy lived on through the university’s policies.

The Liberty Student Code of Honor, known as The Liberty Way, explicitly required students to abstain from any form of sexual activity or even the appearance of impropriety. In this environment, my fellow students and I often helped each other hide our indiscretions.

For me, my indiscretion was Holly. Our relationship quickly escalated into a sexual one before we even officially dated. At a mixer—since Liberty frowned on parties—we found an unoccupied bedroom under the guise of wanting to "talk."

Despite knowing her for only a couple of weeks, we indulged in a whirlwind of physical intimacy. It wasn’t merely a fleeting encounter; our connection deepened, and we found ourselves repeatedly “needing” each other, despite feeling guilty about our actions.

Ultimately, I realized I couldn’t envision my life without Holly, prompting a hasty decision to marry. We exchanged vows in a small ceremony at our church without a honeymoon, as finances were tight. I took on a part-time job at a hardware store to afford our one-bedroom apartment while we juggled our academic pursuits.

Though Holly succeeded academically, I struggled at Liberty and eventually left without completing my degree. Looking back, we rushed our marriage and often reflect on how our lives might have been different if we had allowed ourselves to mature individually before committing.

Section 1.2: The Reality of Our Marriage

Fast forward two decades: Holly and I have two children—not nine, as I jokingly claimed. While we’ve slowed down in some areas, the thrill of our early connection often resurfaces. However, we faced a persistent challenge in our marriage—neither of us could sleep well together.

Being light sleepers, we would frequently disturb each other with any noise or movement, turning our shared bed into a furnace of discomfort. This arrangement, driven by societal expectations of married couples, never suited us.

Don’t Let Tradition Define Your Relationship

While I write from a heterosexual married perspective, this principle applies broadly. We often let societal norms dictate our personal lives, yet embracing what feels right for you and your partner can lead to greater happiness.

What truly matters is finding comfort and fulfillment in your relationship, regardless of conventional standards. After all, it’s not societal expectations that provide warmth at night but the love you share, even if it means sleeping apart.

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